I had an idea…

I’m not sure why this has never occurred to me before, but I’ve decided to start writing gym reviews. I figure WTH not? I have lifting buddies all over the heartland and have ventured to many iron temples to train. Often I have no clue what kind of atmosphere I’m walking into. I figure why not put my adventures to good use?

A gym, to myself and my like-minded pals, is a place of serenity. It’s a place to work out frustrations. They’re our home away from home, so we like to make sure we’re not wasting our time and I’m sure there are many people like us.

My plan is to keep my reviews as neutral as possible… mainly just relay information so people can make their own educated decisions about whether or not a certain gym is, in fact, the right fit for them.

So keep your eyes peeled for a new tab and post! And please laugh along with me at my little banners. They really are only good natured (I currently hold a membership to LA Fitness).

Knowledge is power, but without a will, there is NO way

Let me first state: I am no expert.

I have no degrees, at present, in fitness or nutrition. I do not currently possess any certification in either area. And yet people ask me questions about both fitness and nutrition; they ask my advice on what they should do and they ask what I do for myself. Why, because they’ve seen me go from fat to muscle. They’ve seen my transformation and they want that for themselves. They know that I’m a gymrat, that I’m lifting weights and eating “healthier,” so they figure if they do what I do, they’ll get the same results.

Now as a perpetual student I believe there are no stupid questions (as long as they are genuine), so on one hand I can appreciate an individual wanting to further their knowledge. I love seeing the spark of curiosity in the eyes of people around me. It’s contagious. When someone around you is genuinely interested in or excited about something and they share that with you, it’s hard not to become excited or curious yourself. So again, I appreciate that knowledge is power and I believe there is always room for improvement/ further education. The day that you stop evolving or learning is the day you are dead.

Bear with me, I promise this is going somewhere.

I once saw a meme “definition” of the word: Askhole. I’m sure through your cyber adventures you’ve come across the same meme. For those of you who haven’t seen, or perhaps have forgotten, this meme let me tell you what an askhole is.

Askhole (noun): A person who constantly asks your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you’ve told them.

Now again, let me reiterate that I am not bashing on people who are asking genuine questions. Honestly I’m not bashing on people at all… I’m merely expressing my frustrations. Since this is my blog spot, I guess there’s no reason for me to apologize or feel as if I have to clear any misconceptions, and yet I feel the need.

Anywho…

On hand number two I honestly get tired of repeating myself to same freaking people. Or even the same type of person. You shouldn’t ask questions if you aren’t going to:

1. Consider the information being bestowed upon you. No, the person giving the information may not be an “expert,” but more than likely (in the world of fitness) they’re putting that knowledge to daily use. If it looks like it’s working for them, made YOU take notice and got YOU asking about what they’re doing, think twice before questioning the advice they just gave you. Chances are, said person has done a lot of reading and their sources are legit (the meatheads in my circle are smart).

2. Listen… don’t zone out. Don’t sit there as this person is giving you the advice you asked for and immediately start knocking it all. That person doesn’t need to know that your schedule is hectic, that you have children to take care of, a work schedule that changes constantly… they aren’t there to figure it all out for you. They’re telling you what has worked for them. It’s YOUR JOB to try and meld it into your life.

3. Take it seriously. If you aren’t ready to make a lifestyle change just don’t even bother asking. That’s exactly what all this is, a life style change. You’re changing the way you look at food, how much of it you eat, how much water you drink, the fluids you’re putting into your body. You’re changing your activity level, the amount of sleep you get… you are changing your life. If you think you just want to “tone up” don’t ask a fit person what they do or eat… just stop drinking soda or sweet tea or stop eating out or whatever “vice” it is that you have and walk a little more vigorously and you’ll “tone up.”

4. Get your head screwed on straight. Not only is this a life style change, it IS the concept of “mind over matter.” NO, you really don’t need that junk food. NO, you’re really not too tired. Excuses are like assholes… everyone has at least one and they all stink. Once you get that through your head and you’re willing to throw all the excuses out the window, go ahead and ask away.

I could keep going… honestly if I do I’m just going to sound like a hag, and that’s not what I want. I want clarity, understanding.

People who “tone up” or “just want to get in shape” will never stick with it. People who jump onto the latest fad “diet” craze will lose weight, sure, but they’re not making actual lasting changes, so more than likely the weight will come back. Maybe not all of it, but they’ll gain some back because, again, THEY DID NOT MAKE A LIFE STYLE CHANGE.

There is no shortcut. Even if there was a shortcut why the hell would you want to take it?! If you took the short and easy way you wouldn’t have all the struggle and sweat to make you really appreciate how far you’ve come and what you’ve gained. If it was easy then you’d just eat whatever, be lazy, get fat and hop right on the short cut again because, OH MY GOD! BIKINI SEASON?!?!?!

What I’m trying to express, and failing miserably to do so, is my frustration at the people who ask me what I did to change my life not realizing how big a deal it actually was. What a struggle it was. What an amazing journey it was. They don’t realize that I’m not done… I’m still learning. I’m growing in strength and knowledge every day that I train. They just don’t get it (sorry to sound so cliché). It really is a mindset… and 95% of the time the people who ask me questions don’t have the right mindset to follow through. 95% of the people who ask me questions will ask me the same exact questions a month later… utter frustration.

 

Why is it frustrating? Why do I let it bother me so? Because 100% of the people that ask me these questions are people that I care about. They are people I want to see succeed and when they just half-heartedly “give it a try” I want to shake them. There is no half-heartedly in fitness… half-heartedly will get NOWHERE or worse, squished while benching! There should be no half-heartedly in life! Give it your fucking all and see where the fuck you go (pardon my French). If you don’t at least try you will never know what you’re capable of.

The #1 thing that I have learned on my fit journey is that you are your only obstacle. If you give it your all you will surprise yourself.

It took me two years to figure out that #1 lesson… two freaking years and now I kick myself in the buns every day because if I had stopped doubting myself, if I had gone balls to the wall from the beginning, if I’d started off doing it for the right reasons I would be SO much stronger and have a WAY better body fat and muscle ratio.
So from the bottom of my heart, from the depths of my soul, please stop being an askhole. You can be curious and ask genuine questions to mull over. Ask questions like, “how do you keep motivated,” “what drives you,” “why do you do this,” “was it hard to get started?” Ask things that will help get you in the right mindset.

Once you have your mind 100% made up, then sure, fire away. Ask all the fitness and nutrition advice you want. Because when you have your mind made up, when you let go of all the excuses, when you take the advice and make it your own you will be on your way. Once you get to the point of seeing actual changes it will become an “addiction.” It will become a part of your life. It will have become a life style change. Then you’ll be in my boat with a bunch of askholes that you care deeply about driving you nuts.

Hand in Hand

This post will be adding onto the post Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier:

I’m not sure when exactly it happened. I’m not even sure if it happened over night or if it was a gradual change. I’m not sure why it happened. I can only speculate. I know that I used to be relatively fearless. In my younger years I was carefree and spirited. I tried new things with little trepidation. I wasn’t afraid to fail, because when you’re young everyone expects you to fail, to falter, to stumble along the way. People around you are more compassionate and understanding of your shortcomings. In fact, when you fail those people who care for you reach out, help you up, and use it as an opportunity to teach you, give you different perspectives, and offer constructive criticism. Failure is how we learn, how we grow, how we become an upgraded version of ourselves.

Failure is to success what dark is to light or sour is to sweet. It’s Yin and Yang. You cannot have one without the other. Think about this for a second. If we didn’t have sorrow how would we ever even know what joy is? We wouldn’t have anything to compare joy to, so it wouldn’t be as sweet. That’s why we have sayings like, take the good with the bad.

Somewhere along the way I became more painfully aware of failure. I saw disappointment in the eyes of the people I loved and wanted to make proud. Or perhaps I projected the disappointment I felt myself onto them. I’m not really sure which. I’ve become a control freak when I was a “go with the flow” type of gal. I’ve forgotten how to ask for help and that leaves me feeling like I only have myself to rely on. When I take a step back and think about everything I’ve just written I’m not even really sure why I feel this way. I’ve got a great support system. My parents are always willing to help with big life decisions, because they know I don’t have their experience. I have amazing friends who will listen to me rant ‘til the cows come home and never once roll their eyes. I have a husband who takes care of all the finances and believes in me and the endeavors I would like to take.

So why have I been feeling so stifled, so overwhelmed, and been so controlling over the past few years? That might be an answer I’ll never find. I’m aware of these things now and being aware of a problem is the first step to fixing it. I’m asking for help more often now, and that’s a big step… a big, difficult step. You wouldn’t think it would be hard to ask for help or favors, but it is. Even something like, “Hey babe, can you pick me up some facial wash on your way home from the gym?” feels like a burden I’m placing on the hubby’s shoulders. Baby steps. You’ve gotta walk before you can run (patience is something else I’m trying desperately to work on and I find I’m most impatient with myself).

To recap: The big self-realization I wrote about in Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier goes Hand in Hand with this post on failure being an option. Realizing that I have not been putting forth my maximum effort towards succeeding and reaching goals felt like a massive failure, but now we know it’s OK to fail. It’s OK to stumble. It’s OK to be unsure and to ask for help. I don’t have to know all the answers (I mean, that’s what Google’s for, right?). If anyone really does feel disappointed by my failures then they aren’t the type of support I’d want to have in my life.

So go on out and take a big belly floppin’ plunge into something you’ve been too afraid to do. Strive to fail a little, cuz that failure means you’re learning. If we knew it all life would be pretty boring, wouldn’t it?